Sports gods? Not quite, but maybe sports popes

Published 10:18 pm Wednesday, March 13, 2013

When I heard the newly elected pope is Argentinean I just assumed the majestic Lionel Messi was the choice.

Unfortunately — or fortunately for Barcelona fans — La Pulga will not be trading Camp Nou for il Vaticano.

But it got us thinking about what sports figures would make appropriate figureheads for the Catholic church.

Immediately Messi’s countryman Diego Maradona comes to mind, for using his “Hand of God” to singlehandedly beat England in the 1986 World Cup quarterfinal in Mexico City’s Estadio Azteca. Maradona, however, was less than saintly off the field, with a well-publicized drug problem.

Here are a few of our top choices for a pope from the sports world:

Herb Brooks — The coach of the U.S. hockey team at the 1980 Olympics should be known as Saint Brooks for pulling off the miracle on ice. Yes Al, we do believe in miracles. Downside: not as good looking as Kurt Russell, who played Brooks in the movie Miracle.

Kirk Gibson — He just made one plate appearance in the 1988 World Series for the L.A. Dodgers, immortalized by the words of broadcaster Jack Buck: “Gibson swings and a fly ball to deep right field! This is gonna be a home run! Unbelievable! A home run for Gibson! And the Dodgers have won the game, five to four. I don’t believe what I just saw!” If Gibson can make Buck believe, he can make the world believe.

Franco Harris — The Pittsburgh fullback pulled off the Immaculate Reception in the Steelers’ 1972 playoff victory over the Raiders. Harris’ catch, a take on the Immaculate Conception, was saintly in the eyes of Pittsburgh fans, devilish for Raiders fans. The Steelers went on to win four of the next six Super Bowls, creating a religion of sorts among the fanatics who support the franchise.

Chase Hilgenbrinck — The former Colorado Rapids and New England Revolution defender quit playing professional soccer to join the priesthood. He entered the Catholic Mount St. Mary’s Seminary in 2008.

Roger Staubach — The Cowboys legend, a Roman Catholic, created the “Hail Mary” pass after his touchdown to Drew Pearson in a playoff game against Minnesota in 1975. Staubach’s prayers were answered with two Super Bowl titles.

Jim Valvano — The legendary N.C. State coach produced a magical moment when his Wolfpack upset Houston in 1983 for the national title. N.C. State had to survive double overtime against Pepperdine in the first round before Lorenzo Charles dunked an air ball by Dereck Whittenburg to beat Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler’s Cougars 54-52. Valvano’s legend grew after his ESPY speech in 1993 and the V Foundation in his name continues to carry on his now infallible legacy.

Jared Zabransky — Many college football fans in Texas were in heaven after Zabransky led Boise State to a victory over Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. We’d consider running back Ian Johnson as pope for scoring the winning two-point conversion, but since he proposed to his girlfriend immediately after, he’s disqualified.