Commentary: Reid-About-It, NFL Free Agency Lightens the Mood

Published 3:36 pm Saturday, March 21, 2020

NFL Free Agent season is upon us. Also? Lockdowns, cancellations, homeschooling, and quarantines. Needless to say, it’s been a crazy week. With no sports being played at all, my wagering concierge Formerly Fat Tony offered to let me bet on coin flips, slap bets, and what number he was thinking of. I only lost two hundred bucks on that one.

When the NFL didn’t cancel free agency, I thought it was yet another tone-deaf move from the same league where Ray Lewis is seen as some sort of moral authority. But with everything else going on (and not going on) it was actually a nice distraction for a couple of days. While we’re all stuck in our houses, at least we can look forward to a day when the games return, and what our favorite teams will look like when it happens.

Headline: Cowboys Franchise Dak, Sign Cooper, Lose Witten and Quinn

Reaction: Puzzlement. Why not just give Dak the big contract he deserves? Every decent quarterback gets one, Ryan Tannehill cashing in after less than one season of decent play shows that. Just pay the man, get him locked up long term, and build around him knowing you’re stable at the most important position in sports.

Re-signing Cooper is a big positive, but I’m concerned about what’s left of that defense. We’ll have to see if the losses can be offset by the signings of Gerald McCoy and Ha-Ha Clinton Dix, whose name sounds like a Monica Lewinsky joke, circa 1998.

And Witten? He’s earned the right to do whatever he wants. He’s a Ring of Honor player, and if he wants to spend a final season as a Raider, Cowboys fans have to just wish him well. And I think we can all agree getting concussions in Vegas is still more fun than having to broadcast a Monday Night Football game with Booger.

Headline: Texans Trade DeAndre Hopkins to Arizona

Reaction: Uproarious laughter. The Texans get a backup running back and a second round pick, the Cardinals get the best contested-ball receiver in the league, Bill O’Brien’s house and car, all of his wife’s jewelry, and the right to name his next grandchild.

Houston is a franchise that desperately needs someone to take the keys away from Bill O’Brien. He’s traded away a top overall pick and one of the five best receivers in the game, and didn’t get a first-round pick back for either. You can’t get away with making Bill-Belichick-moves when you’re 2-4 in the playoffs.

Headline: Saints Resign Brees, Hill

Reaction: Thumbs up. Brees’ new contract is pretty manageable, and the Saints were the only team to issue a first-round tender offer, so they definitely want to keep Taysom Hill for a future starting job. He’s the kind of player who can excel for a smart coach like Sean Payton. He’s also the kind who could be misused and wasted by playing for coaches like, oh, let’s just say anyone who’s worked in Washington or New York over the last decade, so staying put as the heir apparent might be the best thing for everybody.

Headline: Rams Cut Todd Gurley

Reaction: Of course they did. When good running backs wonder why it’s so hard for them to cash in on that second contract, Todd Gurley is Exhibit A. And Melvin Gordon is Exhibit 1A. Ezekiel Elliott and the Cowboys were both lucky his deal has worked out as well as it has so far.

Headline: Tom Brady signs with Tampa Bay

Reaction: Shock. The Bucs were fascinating to watch last year because most of the time Jameis Winston was the most dangerous weapon on the field for both teams. Now you add Brady, but it’s still a loaded NFC.

Meanwhile, without Brady pulling the trigger, the Patriots have a mostly average roster with below-average skill players. I think not getting one of the two wide receivers that changed hands on Monday ended the dynasty. Brady got tired of throwing to XFL-level talent and decided to take his talents to West Beach.

It’s a huge change for two franchises, but neither one will be a playoff team next season. By the way, my current favorite detail about the NFL? Tampa Bay came into the league in 1976. Since that time they have drafted 24 quarterbacks, and never given any of them a second contract.

And that’s why Dallas should pay Dak Prescott. You find a quarterback, you keep him.

Reid Kerr would like to remind you “flushable wipes” still means “not flushable wipes,” because nothing is truly flushable except for fluids, toilet paper and that album Garth Brooks recorded as Chris Gaines. Reid’s second book, “I Hate It Here: A Love Story,” is out now on Amazon.com. You can always tweet questions, comments and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.