Yo, Adrian Peterson! Resisting Arrest?Dude, you were one of the few pro athletes with a clean record.
But now the national pundits have ammunition to try and tear you down — much like they’ve done with so many others in your line of work.
And you happened to land in a Houston slammer at the end of the worst possible week, a week when the world of sports misread the warnings and started messing with Texas — big time.
It started with Texas A&M officially leaving for the SEC and continued with the Texas Rangers getting walloped, 19-2, by the Chicago White Sox during a five-game losing streak. Then the Houston Astros managed to outmatch their future divisional rivals by polishing off a nine-game skid.
In the midst of those diamond disasters, the Dallas Mavericks produced a Cuban Dismissal Crisis when they lost out on coveted free agent Deron Williams and then watched Jason Terry and Jason Kidd pack their bags for the northeast.
And on a day when the NBA champion Miami Heat signed the greatest shooter of all-time, Ray Allen, the Houston Rockets unveiled their biggest prize of the offseason — Donatas Motiejunas, who played this past season in the mighty Polish League.
Other than Tyler native Earl Campbell landing on the cover of Sports Illustrated, last week was cruel to Texas sports fans — no matter the teams or players they pull for.
It got us to thinking about the worst moments and memories in Texas sports history. The list is long and full of bloopers and tragedies, with the absolute worst being the Baylor basketball scandal, which involved a murder, NCAA violations and cover-ups.
Our list also includes the SMU football team being handed the death penalty, and Jerry Jones dismissing beloved Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry. (I, frankly, consider Jerry forcing Jimmy Johnson out four years later to be worse, because the Cowboys had just won back-to-back Super Bowls.)
Anyone remember the Mavericks’ 11-71 record in 1992-93? Or the Houston Oilers giving up a 35-3 lead to the Buffalo Bills in the ‘93 playoffs? Or, for that matter, the Oilers leaving for Tennessee just four years later?
Rangers fans might still be wondering how a team can be one strike away from a world title and complete the season in defeat. And Albert Pujols’ walkoff homer against Brad Lidge in the 2005 NLCS is still lost in orbit.
We’ll never forget the day Jessica Simpson showed up at Texas Stadium in a pink jersey, or her boyfriend Tony Romo’s botched hold a few months later — which cost the Cowboys their first playoff victory in 11 years.
The Kardashians’ recent invasion of Dallas ended up being an absolute debacle. The same could be said for the Rockets switching to the ugliest uniforms in NBA history just after winning back-to-back titles, which might’ve spawned a curse.
And let’s not even get into Leon Lett’s absolute brain freeze in the 1993 Thanksgiving game or the 2005 Heisman Trophy, which went to Reggie Bush over the more deserving Vince Young.
Last week brought up many memories, both new and old. But the Astros and Rangers snapped their losing skids Saturday night.
So maybe this week will be better. Maybe this week Dwight Howard will be traded to the Mavs for a bag of basketballs and season tickets to Six Flags.
What do you consider the worst moments in Texas sports history? Send your responses on Twitter to @etfinalscore or by email to email@example.com.