Reid Kerr

We are now halfway through with the NFL season, so it’s a good time to check in with the old mailbag and answer your questions. I always try to do that whenever I remember I have one, so here goes.

Q: How will the Cowboys be without Dak?

A: Surprisingly consistent. They will still be tremendously disappointing. I don’t know what to tell you about this team, other than they’re not much of one. They have talent and stars, but that doesn’t translate into wins. They don’t seem prepared. They make dumb mistakes. They can’t run the ball or stop the run, and they fall behind early. What was supposed to be a playoff season has degenerated into questions about Jerry Jones, and when they’ll finally fire Mike McCarthy.

Other than that, tours of Cowboys Stadium are still available, I guess. And they’ll sell a lot of jerseys. But for an injured-wracked team in a tough division, that’s probably not enough.

Q: What do the Saints do now?

A: Politely put, suck. And I know I’m not exactly Professor Positive with these first two responses, but I have to be honest. The Saints are in trouble. Dennis Allen had to go, weirdly enough, this is the second time he’s been canned midseason with Derek Carr has his quarterback. But this Saints team wasn’t even competitive after that two-game winning streak. They were losing by an average of two touchdowns a game going into last week’s loss to Carolina, and neither of those two things should ever happen to a professional football team. They’re on a historical losing streak, which if you grew up watching the Saints like I did, you realize is really saying something.

But the real problem is the front office. They are absolutely in salary cap Hades. I wouldn’t be surprised if Drew Brees’ dry cleaning bills are still on their books somewhere. The Saints have been working the cap like it’s that credit card we all got at the ballpark in our early 20’s. You know the one, you got it for the free t-shirt and wound up paying it off somewhere in your mid-30’s. Like that, except with Derek Carr as your quarterback. They’re going to have some extra mid-round picks in next year’s draft, and they desperately need some of those to work out in a hurry.

Q: Speaking of, who’s the next coach to get fired?

A: I don’t know if we get another firing in season. But then again, I usually feel that way and am always dead wrong. The Jets were desperate, and the Saints were atrocious. Both fired coaches as a way to change the narrative. I don’t think there’s another team right now in that kind of situation that would be improved with a midseason change. Maybe the Jaguars, if and when they get clobbered in the next two weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a team like the Bears change coaches after the season, but with a highly-prized rookie quarterback, I almost feel like you stay the course so he doesn’t have three different coaches or offensive coordinators in his first two years. Same with the Bengals, there’s an obvious problem there but I don’t think midseason chaos would help.

I know you’re hoping I’d say Dallas here. And I wish I could, but I don’t think it happens until Jerry Jones has the next coach picked out. In retrospect, you wish it had happened last year before you let Dan Quinn walk to Washington and make them look like a 10-win team for the first time since Two-And-A-Half Men was on the air.

Q: What did you think about the trades made at the deadline?

A: Well first, I’m glad to see the NFL finally being a trade league. Every other sport has a lot of excitement around their trade deadline. The NFL still has theirs too early in the season, but at least we’re seeing some player movement. For years, teams held on to their mistakes like family heirlooms. Now at least, bad teams can get some extra late-round draft picks and players can move on to teams that really need them. Seems like every good team in the AFC got a new receiver, and even the Bengals added a player, which is so rare it’s mentioned in the Book of Revelations. It’s good for the league in general, and definitely for players.

Time for my week 10 picks. Last week I went 4-2 and also 4-2 against the Vegas point spreads. In my defense, I overestimated how underwhelming the Cowboys defense was going to be. Lesson learned there. On the season, I’m now 37-20 and 28-29 against Vegas. As always, these are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.

Philadelphia (-7.5) at Dallas: The Cowboys losing Dak for a month or more and still trading for another receiver is like rotating the tires on that car sitting in your front yard that hasn’t run since 1996.

Pick: Eagles to win but not cover, winning by seven points or fewer.

Detroit (-3.5) at Houston: When I look at Jared Goff and the insane numbers he’s putting up, all I can think of is “Once upon a time, Jeff Fisher couldn’t even figure out how to get this guy on the field.”

Pick: Lions to win and cover, winning by four points or more.

Atlanta (-3.5) at New Orleans: The Saints are really testing my “Always pick a team to win after their coach gets fired” credo this week.

Pick: Saints to win it outright. Hey, a credo is a credo.

NY Giants (-6.5) vs. Carolina in Germany: The NFL loves Germany, but just enough to send them a pair of two-win teams. This is the equivalent of giving someone gum for Christmas.

Pick: Giants to win and cover, winning by seven points or more.

Tennessee (+8) at LA Chargers: Lost in all of the trade talk this week is the fact that the Titans don’t get enough credit for being awful at everything.

Pick: Chargers to win but not cover, winning by seven points or fewer.

New England (+6.5) at Chicago: The Bears last year through eight games, 171 points and 321 yards per game. This year through eight games with a new quarterback and new offensive coordinator, 172 points and 295 yards per game. This is why when a coach talks about “consistency,” he really needs to be more specific about his goals.

Pick: Patriots to win it outright.

I’ll also take the Chiefs over the Broncos, Cardinals over the Jets, and school cafeteria rolls over any other form of bread. Good luck, everybody.