Reid Kerr

I’m still recovering from what was a truly awful week in the NFL. Except for a couple of games, you had a lineup bad enough to get me to cancel the NFL package and open a book, or at least stream “The Book Channel.”

The Jets and Texans punted every single possession of the first half. Two fourth-string quarterbacks won games. The Vikings beat the Raiders 3-0. In an indoor game, mind you. This game wasn’t played in a blizzard, or monsoon, or at the base of an erupting volcano. When there’s only one possible way that game could have been lower scoring and still have a winner, you’ve had a truly awful game on both sides of the ball.

And then, we had that Thursday night debacle. If you had Raiders’ players on your fantasy football team, you won your game this week. And if you had Raiders’ players on your fantasy football team, you probably won for the first time.

While I’m still recuperating, let’s check out another edition of the mailbag.

Question: How about them Cowboys?

Answer: I love getting about 20 emails and tweets like this after every big Cowboys win, even with the inevitable drunken misspellings. This year’s team is really something special on both sides of the line. The Eagles have got some real pressure on them now, even with their easier schedule.

But still, have you seen the 49ers? I don’t know if there’s another team I’d pick against them barring major injuries or a sudden Frisco whooping cough outbreak. This might be another season like 1992-1994 where we’re counting down to an epic Cowboys-49ers NFC Championship, and everything else in the league is just gravy.

Q: Does Patrick Mahomes have a point, getting angry at the officials?

A: Absolutely. And not at all. He would have had a completely correct complaint if he was talking about that horrid interference call in the Packers game. As for the offsides call against the Bills, no. I love the Chiefs and everyone involved with this team, but lining up a yard offsides and not even bothering to glance down the line to check is not going to get you a warning on the sidelines on the final drive of a tight game. The refs are going to surmise that you’re a real piece of Samsonite, and correctly flag you.

Mahomes was being a good leader, and channeling his outrage. But the talent level in the AFC is outstanding at the top, and having guys who cost you big plays in big games is frustrating across the board. That wide receiver room gets fixed for the Chiefs in the offseason, guaranteed.

Q: What happened to the Lions?

A: They’re not what we thought they were, but they’re not what they used to be either. They’re somewhere in the middle, a tough team with a questionable defense and a quarterback who’s regressing to the mean. They still will probably be the three-seed in the playoffs, but they’ll have some things to fix in the offseason. Which is still miles ahead of where they normally are, admittedly.

Q: How about that (insert name of backup quarterback here)? Pretty good, eh?

A: We’ve had 55 different starters this season so far. Everybody’s backup quarterback has had to play, and a lot of them looked good! Briefly. It makes for a good story when a guy comes out of nowhere, but backup quarterbacks tend to go right back there once other teams get some film on them.

My advice is cautious enthusiasm. When your backup, or your backup’s backup gets in and plays well, just stay quiet. Don’t buy his jersey. Don’t get a tattoo of his face. Don’t turn his agent into a folk hero. Just wait and see if future opponents catch up to him.

Q: And one baseball question, is Shohei Ohtani worth $700 million?

A: I get a big kick out of the “No one is worth that kind of money” crowd in every sport. Tell you what, you guys give me a call when the Dodgers declare bankruptcy and start having bake sales to raise cash.

Time for my picks. Last week, I went a dismal 2-4, and also 2-4 against the Vegas spread. In my defense, I should know better than to pick a Jets game by now, shouldn’t I? Lesson learned there. I’m now 54-32 on the season, and 44-38-3 against Vegas overall. As always, these are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.

Dallas (+2) at Buffalo: This is a great season for Dak, but don’t forget Mike McCarthy when you’re talking about that offense. Letting Kellen Moore go to the Chargers looks like the best decision in Dallas since they kept Staubach and traded Craig Morton.

Pick: Cowboys to win it outright. If you’re under 50, just pretend I said “since they kept Troy Aikman and traded Steve Walsh.” If you’re under 20, I have no applicable reference so just pretend I said something funny about Walmart and move on.

Houston (+3) at Tennessee: I freely admit that I hate the Titans franchise because they’re not the Houston Oilers. And I’m OK with that.

Pick: Texans to win it outright.

Chicago (+3) at Cleveland: With that performance last week, Joe Flacco has been named as the starting quarterback for the rest of the season. Which based on Browns history, means he’ll be on Injured Reserve by Wednesday.

Pick: Browns to win and cover, winning by four or more points.

San Francisco (-12) at Arizona: It feels like the only thing that could stop San Francisco is having Draymond Green punch Christian McCaffery.

Pick: 49ers to win but not cover, winning by 11 points or fewer.

NY Giants (+6) at New Orleans: At this point in his career, Derek Carr is not the answer. To any possible question, except “What was the biggest fantasy football mistake you’ve ever made, Reid?” Except one year I traded Kurt Warner for Tony Banks, so Carr isn’t even at the top of that list.

Pick: Giants to win it outright.

Philadelphia (-3) at Seattle: I love it when Philly fans invoke Rocky while talking about their team, because they always get caught up in him running the steps, and forget that he lost the fight in that first movie.

Pick: Eagles to win and cover, winning by four or more points.

I’ll also take the Ravens over the Jaguars, Chiefs over the Patriots, and pretty much any gift for a newborn over a drum solo. Good luck, everybody.

Reid Kerr doesn’t get why “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” involves ghost stories. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.