JACK STALLARD

A conversation I hope to have in 10 years.

Grandson: Grandpa, can I ask you a question.

Me: We’ve had this discussion before. As long as you don’t ask me a math question or if the Cowboys are ever going to win another Super Bowl, you can ask me anything.

Grandson: I learned my lesson about asking you math questions last year when you told me to just write “Jesus” if I ever had to find “Y” since Jesus is always the answer.

Me: Yeah. I can’t believe how mad your mom got about that one. I don’t think she really has the authority to ground me, but I wasn’t taking any chances and just served my week without my phone.

As for the Cowboys? I’m not sure even Jesus can help them.

So. What’s your question?

Grandson: Did you vote back in 2024? You don’t have to tell me who you voted for, I was just curious if you voted and if you were surprised at what happened after the election.

Me: I did vote, but I’ll be honest with you. I wasn’t thrilled with either candidate. By the time the election rolled around, I think pretty much everyone was tired of both of them.

I don’t recall either candidate giving the nation a legitimate reason why they should be president. Mostly it was just both of them telling us why the other person shouldn’t be president. That stuff gets old.

I finally just made a list of things I hoped might happen in the coming years to make the nation and the world a better place for the people I love, and the person who got the most check marks got my vote.

Grandson: That sort of happened, didn’t it?

Me: It did. No one ever took credit for coming up with the plan, but the way it all worked out, I figure it had to be a teacher.

Grandson: Why do you think that?

Me: Think about it. What happens at school when one group of kids doesn’t get along with another group?

A good teacher makes sure whatever is going on involves kids from those different groups working together. They are forced to understand that not everyone has the same ideas on how to get things done, but if they didn’t get along and figure things out, there were consequences.

I can’t believe it took so long for someone to implement that plan for politicians, but it was a brilliant idea and it worked.

Grandson: I’m not sure exactly how it all works. Can you explain?

Me: Well, the first thing we did was make the presidency a two-year term, and we did away with presidential candidates picking a potential vice president.

The person who won the election became president, but the person he or she was running against became the vice president.

The president is still in charge, but the president and vice president share an office in the White House, work the same hours and go on all foreign and domestic trips together as a team.

Heck. Even their families vacation together.

Basically, they are joined at the hip for two years, and after the two-year term is done, they change roles with the same rules intact for two more years.

That forces them to work across party lines to get things done. They see on a daily basis what the other person believes and why they believe it and they have to compromise to get anything accomplished.

And, they are held accountable. If they fail, instead of just riding off into the sunset, writing books or having presidential libraries built, their political careers are done. They can’t even run for commissioner of their fantasy football league.

Grandson: So, understanding and accountability are the keys, right? Why do you think it took so long for our nation to make our politicians start acting like adults?

Me: Beats me. If I could figure that one out I could probably find “Y” and maybe even help the Cowboys win another Super Bowl before I die. You remember what I told you about my funeral, right?

Grandson: Yes sir. You want the Cowboys to be your pallbearers so they can let you down one more time.