Jimbo, Harbaugh, and the silliness of college football
Published 2:20 pm Friday, November 17, 2023
- Reid Kerr
While I love football in all forms and at all levels, I make no secret that I’m a pro football guy, and always have been. Sometimes though, college football gets insane enough that it becomes the big news of the week, and so I have to comment.
To start with, let’s have a big round of applause for Jimbo Fisher’s contract. He will get paid more over the next seven years to not coach Texas A&M than Derrick Henry’s made over the last seven years of being the best running back in the NFL.
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And to be honest, this is both ridiculous, and totally normal. A&M isn’t that far ahead of the curve in terms of overpaying for a college coach. It seems like an outlier, but it’s just the beginning of the wave. There’s too much money at stake to not lock down everything in your program. It’s not the money so much as it was the mistake of hiring the wrong guy, and then leaving him there long enough for the boosters to get so furious, they finally open their wallets.
Although I’ll tell you right now, fair warning. If I ever get a call from Fisher’s agent, I will knock down women, children, and clergy to answer it.
The other big story is the Michigan cheating scandal, which is the funniest sports saga I’ve followed in decades. Every day something even more ridiculous was added to the rundown.
Let me be clear on this one, if someone can steal your signals, either from television or through some Inspector-Clouseau-style-disguise scheme where they find a way to literally stand beside you on your own sideline and read your playcard over your shoulder, that’s on you.
But if it’s defined as cheating, and you get caught at it, you should be punished. And I mean, actually punished, and not just something like your conference making you skip a couple of pregame meals.
And by the way, those “(whichever state we’re in) vs. Everybody” t-shirts? Just stop. I’ve seen that for years and it’s always a dumb concept. Do you have a fanbase in the millions? Is your budget larger than some nations’ GDP? Does your own conference bend over backwards to protect you so you can still go to the playoff, so they can make money off of you?
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Then it’s not just you against the world, Chester.
And finally, Colorado, and the shadow of Prime Time. Deion Sanders has done something that many didn’t think would be possible after the first month of the season, which is make Colorado have a disappointing year. Deion was the belle of the ball for a while and now has come back down to Earth.
At the start of the year, someone asked me how I thought Colorado would do, and I said a three-win season would be a huge improvement. They’re sitting at four coming into the weekend. That’s a success. If those wins had come at the end of the schedule instead of the beginning, we’d be raving about the turnaround instead of asking about the collapse. Same results either way.
And one more thing, college coaches? Stop going for two when you score and you’re down by nine in the fourth quarter. When you miss it, the game is over. Kick the extra point to be down by eight and leave some hope for your team, your fans, and those of us who have money on the game. It just makes sense.
OK, back to the pros. Time for my week 11 picks. Last week, I went 3-3 and 2-4 against the Vegas spread. In my defense, I thought the Cowboys would eventually get tired of scoring against the Giants and just start taking a knee in the third quarter. Lesson learned there. I’m now 36-25 on the season, and 31-26-3 against Vegas overall. As always, these are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.
Dallas (-10.5) at Carolina: You have to feel really good about this Cowboys team, in spite of the fact that they lead all NFL teams in scoreless drives that end up inside the one yard line.
Pick: Cowboys to win and cover, winning by 11 or more points.
Arizona (+6.5) at Houston: Remember when the Bengals were an eternally disappointing team cursed with bad management, and Joe Burrow walked in the door and changed the entire feel of the franchise overnight? That’s happening again right now with CJ Stroud in Houston.
Pick: Texans to win but not cover, winning by six or fewer points.
Pittsburgh (+1.5) at Cleveland: The Deshaun Watson trade the Texans made with the Browns might be one of the top three best deals ever, right behind the Herschel Walker Trade and the Louisiana Purchase.
Pick: Browns to win and cover, winning by two or more.
NY Giants (+8.5) at Washington: You know those 17 points the Giants scored in garbage time against Dallas last week? That’s the most points they’ve scored since week two. Me pointing these facts out is why my cousins in New Jersey never invite me to Thanksgiving dinner anymore.
Pick: Commanders to win but not cover, winning by eight or fewer.
NY Jets (+7) at Buffalo: You know how every year in the preseason I remind you that a couple of teams we think are playoff locks are going to stumble and miss it? Ladies and gentlemen, the Buffalo Bills.
Pick: Bills to win but not cover, winning by six or fewer.
Philadelphia (+2.5) at Kansas City: I wonder how many new Chiefs fans watching this game will be surprised to know that Travis Kelce has a brother.
Pick: Eagles to win it outright.
I’ll also take the Lions over the Bears, 49ers over the Bucs, and rolls over biscuits. Good luck, everybody.
Reid Kerr just realized it’s “No-Shave November,” and not “No-Bathe November,” and now he has some apologies to make. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.