Reid Kerr

During the NFL season, I read on average about four-thousand articles a week, looking for information on anything that will help me predict games. I’m looking for anything like injuries, coordinator changes, arrests, that sort of thing.

As you can tell, that attention to detail has raised my winning percentage from 45.2% all the way up to 45.3%, so it’s well worth the time I spend. One of the things I’ve noticed is a lot of places do rankings of various things. Best teams, top players, worst turfs, most awesome mustaches, etc., basically anything and everything they can think of to get clicks.

These are done just to get people to angrily disagree and comment. Those are what is called in the industry “clickbait,” which means “stuff so stupid it makes you feel like you have to say something, before the stupidity leaks into the world.”

It’s cheap, it’s lazy, and it’s a desperate cry for attention. And of course, all of those apply to my columns as well, so here goes with some of my mid-season rankings.

My top teams: Chiefs, Eagles, 49ers, Ravens.

My bottom teams: Panthers, Cardinals, Broncos, Panthers again. They should be on this list twice.

Guys who should be starting quarterbacks next year: Gardner Minshew II, Cooper Rush.

Guys who shouldn’t be starting quarterbacks this year: Daniel Jones, Ryan Tannehill.

Things that shouldn’t make me feel good, but they do: Deshaun Watson struggling, Patriots getting clobbered, that car that tailgates and speeds around me getting pulled over.

Best athletes I ever covered as a media member: Barry Sanders, Deion Sanders. I saw a lot of Hall of Famers, but those two guys had unique skillsets.

Best jerseys: Eagles in kelly green, Chargers in powder blue, Bengals in their zebra look.

Worst jerseys: All the “Color Rush” ones, all the Pro Bowl jerseys from the last decade, and every time the Titans wear the Oilers jerseys, which I consider sacrilege.

Coaches on the hottest of hot seats: Bears coach Matt Eberflus, and everyone coaching in the AFC West who isn’t Andy Reid.

Former players everyone hates but shouldn’t: Chris Collinsworth, Tony Romo.

Former players everyone loves but shouldn’t: Ben Roethlisberger, Ray Lewis.

Country music family acts: Gatlin Brothers, Mandrell Sisters, Statler Brothers.

Things that are going to be major problems eventually: The Tush Push, legalized and widely-embraced sports gambling, and my bill for streaming services which is somehow more than my cable bill every was, yet I find myself still watching “Beverly Hills Cop” on a Friday night.

Time for my week eight picks. Last week, I went 3-3, and 2-4 against the Vegas spread. In my defense, I thought the Raiders were awful and the Bears were awful-er, but it turned out the Raiders were the most awful-est of all. Lesson learned there. I’m now 24-19 on the season, and 23-19-1 against Vegas overall. As always, these are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.

LA Rams (+6.5) at Dallas: Jerry Jones saying he’d be willing to make a trade, but the other side would need to reach out to him first is the same kind of egotistic cry out for attention I embrace every time I do karaoke. “Oh, you guys don’t want me to sing, do you? Oh, OK, if you insist! Somebody once told me, the world…”

Pick: Cowboys to win but not cover, winning by six or fewer points.

Houston (-3) at Carolina: This is the first time that the first three picks in the NFL Draft have ever played in the same game as rookies. Which is one of those stats you think is good, until you realize it just means these teams really stunk last year.

Pick: Texans to win and cover, winning by four or more.

NY Jets (-3) at NY Giants: This is definitely a battle between the two best teams in New York who play their home games in New Jersey. Past that, I got nothing.

Pick: Jets to win and cover, winning by four or more.

Minnesota (-1.5) at Green Bay: I would watch an entire “30 For 30” on Kirk Cousins’ contract negotiations over his career. I don’t want to watch his career highlight, whatever that was, but the way the man has been able to just extract enormous sums of cash from NFL teams while maintaining a quarterback rating right around room temperature is absolutely fascinating.

Pick: Vikings to win and cover, winning by two or more.

New England (+9.5) at Miami: Sometimes I think Dolphins coach Mike McDaniel is just a little kid who made a wish on a fortune telling machine to “Be big.”

Pick: Dolphins to win and cover, winning by 10 or more.

Cleveland (+4) at Seattle: The injury situation between Deshaun Watson and the Browns seems very uncomfortable. Just like most situations involving Deshaun Watson, I suppose.

Pick: Browns to win it outright.

I’ll also take the Colts over the Saints, the Eagles over the Commanders, and the Rangers in five.

Good luck, everybody.

Reid Kerr has already started eating his Halloween candy, so if you’re coming by the house, you’d better hurry. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.