Reid Kerr

Well, now what, Cowboys fans?

I’m not usually this direct when I start a column, I know, but the anger and despair this week for sports fans has risen to a level I haven’t seen since the Dave Campo years, so let’s get right into it.

Dallas lost to San Francisco, badly. It’s not the end of the world to lose to a better team in week five of the season, but I’ll admit, it ain’t exactly a good sign either.

The 49ers look like the best team in the league right now. Granted, they haven’t played many good teams yet, but no one’s gotten close to them either. And by the way, that t-shirt that George Kittle wore that said “F- Dallas?” it’s a profane personal message, and he should be fined for that.

And also? That’s exactly what he did. If you don’t like it, don’t let him score three touchdowns on you. Micah Parsons saying “next time it’ll be personal” after taking a 42-10 drubbing is the dumbest thing I’ve heard anyone in football say since…well, pretty much everything Antonio Brown has said for the last four years.

But enough about the Niners. I’m seeing lots of Cowboys fans using this game as further evidence that Dak Prescott isn’t the man to quarterback the team. I disagree, but let’s just assume that to be true.

The question then becomes “If Dak is the problem, what’s the solution?”

If you think Dak can’t get the job done, are you ready to start over? Because this is a team with a killer defense, good line and skill positions, and good quarterbacks don’t grow on trees. The problem with deciding you need a new quarterback is finding the next one, because good ones are never on the open market. And even high draft picks are still a coin flip. The Cowboys have a third overall pick as a third-string quarterback on their roster right now, and he’s lucky to still be in the league. Sometimes you get lucky with Tom Brady in the sixth round, or Brock Purdy with the last pick, or Tony Romo being undrafted. But usually, you wind up like Buffalo between Jim Kelly and Josh Allen, or Detroit from Bobby Layne until right now.

I’ll put it this way, perhaps your spouse isn’t everything you want in a person. They have some flaws, and you’re not sure they’re perfect for you. Do you think you can work it out, or are you frustrated enough to junk the whole thing and climb back into the terrifying dating pool of free agents?

In my metaphor, the roles of terrifying possible matches include Kirk Cousins, Colt McCoy, and Jameis Winston. Unless you’re ready to swipe right on one of those, maybe it’s best to stick with what you’ve got for now and try harder to make it all work out.

Time for my week six picks. Last week, I went 4-2, and also 4-2 against the Vegas point spreads. In my defense, I underestimated the Falcons, overestimated the Texans, and luckily estimated the Niners completely correctly. Lesson learned there. I’m now 17-13 on the season, and 17-12-1 against Vegas overall. As always, these are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.

Dallas (-2) at LA Chargers: Cowboys fans are frustrated and angry with a talented team underachieving. Chargers fans are just glad to have company.

Pick: Cowboys to win and cover, winning by three or more.

New England (+3) at Las Vegas: When Dick Butkus was in his later years and playing with bad knees, other players took advantage to really tee off on him for some of the terrifying hits Butkus had laid on them in his early years. This season’s Patriots Revenge Tour is exactly what we’re seeing happen to Bill Belichick right now.

Pick: Raiders to win and cover, winning by four or more.

Seattle (+2.5) at Cincinnati: Are the Bengals finally fixed? If they get to play the Cardinals every week, sure!

Pick: Bengals to win and cover, winning by three or more.

Indianapolis (+4) at Jacksonville: Jags were 2-0 in London the last two weeks. Being really good at playing football in Europe seems like one of those things I pad my resume with, like “Donkey Basketball Champion” or “5K Run T-Shirt Recipient.”

Pick: Colts to win it outright.

Minnesota (-3) at Chicago: Trying to pick this game is like choosing which tire fire smells better.

Pick: Bears to win it outright.

Philadelphia (-6.5) at NY Jets: Congratulations to the Jets on getting revenge on someone for saying bad things about their offensive coordinator. If you need to know what level the Jets season has reached, that’s about it so far.

Pick: Eagles to win and cover, winning by seven or more.

New Orleans (-2) at Houston: Time spent watching the Saints this season is like time spent in New Orleans. It’s fun, it costs me a lot of money, and when it’s over, I have absolutely no idea what happened.

Pick: Texans to win it outright.

I’ll also take the Ravens over the Titans, Dolphins over the Panthers, and candy bars with nougat over those with nuts. I don’t even know what nougat technically is, but I feel like I have to make a stand at some point in my life, so there it is. Good luck, everybody.

Reid Kerr flies into Texas counting high school football stadiums from the plane window. You can always tweet questions, comments, and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.