Reid Kerr

Considering it’s the final week of the regular season, it’s dawning on me that I have spent scant time thinking about football.

It’s been an unprecedented week, my friends. By now we all know the story of what happened to Damar Hamlin, and thankfully where he is now in his recovery. We all settled in to watch the biggest Monday Night Football game in years, and it wound up being exactly that, but for reasons none of us could have ever predicted.

It was a lot to process, both in the moment and for days afterwards. And I think when this is all over, parts of this whole week will stand out, and some will be forgotten. I won’t remember the labyrinthine playoff system the NFL has thrown together, or the possibility they were trying to get the game played on Monday. I won’t recall the broadcasters who ignored empathy in favor of attention-seeking, nor will I think of the people attempting to use a freak injury to push their personal beliefs.

I’ll think about the players coming together, and the brotherhood they showed on that Cincinnati field and all over the league. And I’ll think about the coaches as leaders, talking to each other about how their teams are not in any condition to play, and overruling the NFL.

I’ll think about the trainers and the EMTs, doing their jobs in the highest possible pressure situation. I’ll think of Stefon Diggs just walking out of the stadium and taking an Uber to the hospital for his teammate.

I’ll think of ESPN’s coverage, and of Scott Van Pelt and Ryan Clark talking honestly and emotionally about a situation neither was prepared to discuss at the beginning of the evening, and doing so masterfully for millions of people who needed to listen to someone and share that moment.

I’ll think about the people watching who didn’t know what to do but wanted to help in some way, and donated more than seven million dollars to Hamlin’s toy drive. Did you? I sure did.

And I’ll think about all the social media posts and updates I’ve seen about Hamlin, many of them from friends of mine who aren’t sports fans. And how, in the wake of what could have been a tragedy, society showed our good side, and how we can still all show empathy.

That was the biggest football game in years in spite of, or actually probably because, it wasn’t a football game. It was a moment that went far beyond that.

OK, on to the picks, and my reason for being here. Last week I went 6-4 straight up, but a horrid 2-8 against the Vegas spread. In my defense, I think my record proves that I usually know who’s going to win, but have no clue by how much. Lesson learned there. I’m now 66-46-1, and 50-62-2 against Vegas. As always, my picks are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.

Dallas (-7) at Washington: The Commanders have announced that between their two awful quarterbacks, they’re going to be starting the third guy.

Pick: Cowboys to win and cover, winning by eight or more.

Houston (+2.5) at Indianapolis: Somehow, I think it’s easier to be a Texans fan than a Colts fan right now. And I didn’t think that was possible.

Pick: Colts to win and cover, winning by three or more in a game that neither team should want to win.

Kansas City (-9) at Las Vegas: The Raiders are an interesting prospect in the offseason, but only in that what-else-can-go-wrong sort of way.

Pick: Chiefs to win but not cover, winning by eight or fewer.

LA Chargers (+2.5) at Denver: The Chargers are locked into their playoff spot, while the Broncos are locked into a very awkward offseason.

Pick: Broncos to win and cover, winning by three or more.

Tennessee (+6.5) at Jacksonville: I’ll be honest, I never thought this game would have any importance, nor did I ever imagine the Jags would be favored over anyone whose mascot doesn’t rhyme with “Schmexans,” but here we are.

Pick: Jags to win but not cover, winning by six or fewer.

Tampa Bay (+4) at Atlanta, Carolina (+3.5) at New Orleans: The Falcons being favored here means no matter what the coaches say, Tom Brady won’t play in this game long enough to yell at anyone. And the Panthers had a run just good enough to screw up their plans to hire a big-name coach. Next year’s NFC South is already more exciting than this year’s was.

Pick: Bucs to win it outright, and the Saints to win and cover, winning by four or more.

New England (+7) at Buffalo, NY Jets (+3) at Miami: The AFC East is still a mess here. The Pats need a win over a Buffalo team that could beat the Avengers at this point. The Dolphins need a win, but may be down to their sixteenth string quarterback by Sunday.

Pick: Bills to win and cover, winning by eight or more, and the Jets to win it outright.

Arizona (+14.5) at San Francisco, LA Rams (+6) at Seattle: At one point, this NFC West was going to have four teams in the playoffs. Also at one point, “Joey” was going to be the next big hit TV show, but hey, things change.

Pick: 49ers to win but not cover, winning by 14 or fewer, and Seahawks to win and cover, winning by seven or more.

I’ll also take the Packers over the Lions, Steelers over the Browns, and Georgia over TCU. Good luck, everybody.

Reid Kerr thinks every New Year should start with the dramatic ending of a playoff football game. You can always tweet questions, comments and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.