The new super hero movie "Venom" is now playing in theaters (Courtesy, Columbia Pictures) 

Follow this, if you dare. “Venom,” the 182nd comic book movie to come out in the last five years, is a spin-off of the latest Spider-Man film (“Spider-Man: Homecoming”), therefore it is part of that universe, but it isn’t part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which includes the latest Spider-Man film.

What?

“Venom” is the story of Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy), an investigative reporter known for exposing corruption. He has everything going for him — a great job, engaged to successful lawyer, Anne (Michelle Williams). However, when he is assigned to do an interview with Carlton Drake (Riz Ahmed), the founder of The Life Foundation, he is asked by his boss to just do a profile and not dig into the rumors of Drake misbehaving.

Rating: ** (out of 5)

Naturally, this doesn’t sit well with Eddie. Eddie finds information sent to Anne in a work email about Drake and his ties to experiments that left test subjects dead. In the interview, Eddie ambushes Drake, ultimately leading to him and Anne losing their jobs and an abrupt end to their relationship.

His days as a reporter are over as no media outlet will take him.

Eddie is tracked down by Dora Skirth (Jenny Slate), one of Drake’s scientists, who tells him that one of Drake’s test rockets brought back four specimens to earth. However, one escaped. The specimens, called symbiotes, are being used to bond with human test subjects, leaving host and parasite dead sometimes.

When Eddie is brought to the lab for an expose, one of the symbiotes bonds with Eddie, giving him powers and a voice in his head. Drake sends men after Eddie, only to discover, Eddie isn’t just Eddie. He is now a hybrid called Venom.

“Venom” is directed by Ruben Fleischer, the man best known for the hit “Zombieland” and its upcoming sequel “Zombieland Too.” The film draws inspiration from, but is not a direct adaptation of, the mini-series, “Venom: Lethal Protector” and “Planet of the Symbiotes.”

“Venom” seemed doomed from the start. The last time we saw the character on film is was Sam Raimi’s dreadful “Spider-Man 3,” With the new Spider-Man in place, Sony has revived its dumb plan to make spin-off films about the Spidey villains.

The movie has faced lackluster reactions to the trailers, a very pedantic internet fight about the pronunciation of the word “symbiote” and the studio backing away from original plans to seek an R rating.

“Venom” is not a good movie. That isn’t to say it doesn’t have its moments of sheer entertainment. It’s a goofy, silly movie but somewhere inside, there’s a loud, flashy good time. It’s not quite the laugh-out-loud train wreck some people make it out to be, but it’s also a jumbled mess of a movie that barely functions. 

This is the closest thing the Marvel canon has to Academy Award-winner “Suicide Squad.”

I don’t necessarily recommend “Venom,” but I also don’t have to, really. It’s a comic book movie. It’s going to bring in the fanboy (and girls) like moths to a flame. It’s just not the “Venom” movie anyone really wants.