DEAR ANNIE: I’m at my wits’ end. Yesterday my mother-inlaw, “Alice,” called my husband, “Gavin,” to complain about how I am not nice to her and how she is tired of being pushed around. This is not the first or second or 22nd time that Alice has painted herself as the victim. She has a lot of issues, though she refuses to get counseling, which is why her first marriage fell apart, and most of the time, I just let her vent and try to not let her get to me.

Gavin’s been on my side through this entire thing, and he’s told her many times to stop treating me this way. But I found out that she’s been complaining about me to all of Gavin’s siblings, too, trying to get them to agree with her on how my parenting style is all wrong and how I’m crazy for thinking she’s judgmental.

Rather than let it go, again, I called her out. I let Alice know that if she has a problem, she should speak with me, not my husband or his siblings. She proceeded to attack me for more than an hour — insulting my family, my parenting, my “secrecy,” my work and everything else under the sun.

Annie, how do I resist getting into another argument with my stone wall of a mother-in-law? — MIL TROUBLES

DEAR MIL TROUBLES: From the sound of it, she had issues long before she met you, and if you weren’t around, she’d just be taking out her frustrations on somebody else. So accept she has limitations, and try not to take any of this personally. That said, Gavin needs to step up and do all he can to help manage the situation and create healthy boundaries between your family and his mother.