DEAR ANNIE: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Everything is going well between us, and he’s a sweet and thoughtful guy in general. But he didn’t get me a present or card for Christmas, and it’s been bothering me the past few weeks, though I’ve tried to just move on. It’s not something I’m eager to bring up. I feel pretty whiny even admitting in this letter that it bothers me. I got him a few gifts and took him out to his favorite restaurant. I know that you shouldn’t expect a gift in return when you give something, but it just stung a little that he didn’t put thought into getting me something — anything at all. I would have been happy with a card or a special home-cooked meal or some other small gesture. Last year, he got me a present, so I just assumed we’d be exchanging presents this year. Am I being ridiculous? Should I just get over it, or should I tell him? — SNUBBED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SNUBBED: You’re not being ridiculous. But before you get self-righteous, consider that while gifts can be loving gestures, loving gestures can be gifts, too. Perhaps material presents aren’t important to your boyfriend and he didn’t realize they’d be important to you. Let him know your feelings on the matter — but before you do, make a list of all the other ways he shows his love. Read it immediately before your talk so you go into it with an attitude of gratitude and can easily share with him a few things he’s done that have made you feel cherished.

I’d also suggest you and your boyfriend read “The 5 Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman, to avoid this type of miscommunication in the future.