DEAR ANNIE: I am in my 60s, as are my brothers and sisters, and we’re all retired. We have always exchanged nice, thoughtful (though not expensive) gifts for birthdays, Christmas and maybe some other special occasions. Over the past several years, my brother “Rod” and his wife, “Erma,” have, in addition to a lot of other rude behaviors, started giving people gifts that are, in a word, mean-spirited. Several of these “gifts” seem very clearly to be things they found in their closets or at some kind of garage sale. Money is not the issue for them. You’ll just have to believe me on that.

My question is: Should I send a thank-you note? I really don’t want to encourage this baloney. It seems kind of silly to put money and effort into a gift exchange just to insult people. To be honest, I don’t exactly know what to say in a thank-you note.

I would prefer not to stop this gift giving, because for the rest of us, it helps us to connect and is a nice tradition.

Any thoughts? — WHEN IS A GIFT NOT A GIFT?

DEAR WIAGNAG: I’ll take your word that this isn’t a matter of money.

If you really believe they’re acting out of inconsideration, then no, I don’t think you need to send a thank-you note. Sending one would probably just make you angrier about the whole thing.

If the shared ritual and connection with your siblings are what you really appreciate about the gift exchange, you can find those things elsewhere. Browse the internet (Pinterest in particular) to spark your imagination for holiday traditions you can start together.