Candlelighting helps families deal with loss

Published 10:41 pm Sunday, December 13, 2015

When Sam Smith’s daughter passed away after a car wreck in 1988, it would be a while before he would be able to receive the kind of help he needed to better cope with his loss.

But, about 12 years later, he was able to find that help from an organization called The Compassionate Friends.

They pair what they call “seasoned grievers” with the newly bereaved and have the mission of helping assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age.

“The wonderful thing about this is that most everybody that’s here has been through the same sort of trauma,” Smith said. “We’ve all lost a child. There is just some kind of special healing in being with people who have been through the same thing.”

Now a seasoned griever himself, Smith is a part of the steering committee of the Tyler chapter of The Compassionate Friends and was one of the many grievers present as the Tyler chapter celebrated the 19th annual Worldwide Candle Lighting on Sunday at Crossroads Community Church in Tyler.

The event is believed to be the largest mass candle lighting in the world and comes at a time when many grievers may feel like they are at their lowest point.

“The holiday season is an extremely difficult time of the year for families grieving the death of a child,” the Tyler chapter of The Compassionate Friends said in a news release. “The Worldwide Candle Lighting has united bereaved families around the world as a symbolic way of showing the love we continue to carry for our children, even though they can no longer be with us physically.”

The Tyler event featured music, lighting candles, the reading of poetry and a slide show of “not forgotten” children.

Loved ones also got to say the names of their deceased loved ones into a microphone before they lit their candles.

Many from the public came out to remember their deceased loved ones and Smith hopes that they were able to leave knowing that there is hope and that they are not alone.

“We hope they have a sense of hope that they’re going to survive the grief they are going through,” Smith said. “It’s always good to gather with people who’ve been through the same thing we’ve been through.”