Reid Kerr

Reid Kerr

I fully intended to make fun of the NFL for changing “Wild Card Weekend” to “Super Wild Card Weekend” for no apparent reason, but to my surprise it was actually pretty super. Four games were close late, and the other two were also exciting for everyone, especially former members of Tom Brady’s family.

Time for one of my favorite columns, titled “Things I would do, if I’m…”

Dak Prescott? I feel vindicated from people who seemed to care a little too much about the last game of the regular season. And I also feel a bit of pressure going into this week. Being the quarterback of the Cowboys is a job of high expectations. You’re always compared to Staubach and Aikman, but never to Quincy Carter or Gary Hogeboom.

Joey Bosa? Well, I get into some kind of anger management program, or switch to decaf, or something. The difference between that game heading to overtime and being a loss is about four yards. If he keeps walking to the sideline before he throws his helmet like an angry child, it’s not a penalty. Leaders lead, they don’t get two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in a playoff game.

Derek Carr? I don’t get upset that I got shafted in Las Vegas. Most of us do eventually. I also don’t agree to a trade, return phone calls, or talk to the media. I just wait to be released and pick my next team, without costing them any draft picks. And for people who seem to think he wouldn’t get a contract that good on the open market, but that teams would give up draft picks to Las Vegas to trade for it? Logic eludes you guys.

Robert Griffin III? I take a bow for a surprisingly great season broadcasting, capped with a walk off social media post to Michael Vick, who had called for injured Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson to put a knee brace on and play in their playoff game. That’s exactly what RG3 did his rookie year, shredded his knee, and was never the same again.

Aaron Rodgers? I don’t bother to clear off my trophy case for another MVP award. I don’t know why he’s focusing on that at this stage of his career, but a Super Bowl win is the only thing that’s going to elevate his legacy now. He’s already a sure-fire Hall-of-Famer, but a couple of years of grousing without a Super Bowl appearance won’t help.

Dolphins coach Mike McDaniel? I relax a little while. He doesn’t look or sound like an NFL coach, but he got the most out of his team this year even with injuries, and took a third-string quarterback into the fourth quarter against the Bills with a chance to win. He’s raised reasonable expectations for the Dolphins, and that hasn’t happened very often since Don Shula retired.

Kliff Kingsbury? I throw my phone in the Mekong River, and I just enjoy my vacation in Thailand. He can get a job later, and he’s under no obligation to let the Cardinals off the hook for his salary until the right opportunity comes along.

On to the picks. Last week I went 4-2 straight up, and 2-4 against the Vegas point spread. In my defense, the Jaguars never led in that game until the clock hit zero, so I think I should get partial credit for that one. Lesson learned there. As always, my picks are for the purposes of comedic discussion only. No wagering.

Jacksonville (+8.5) at Kansas City: I underestimated Jags coach Doug Pederson last week. But I’m not underestimating Andy Reid this week.

Pick: Chiefs to win but not cover, winning by eight or fewer.

NY Giants (+8.5) at Philadelphia: Teams coming off a playoff bye tend to be vulnerable, and the Giants can run the ball on anyone. In case you didn’t notice, that’s my way of trying to talk myself into making my dumbest prediction of the year, right up there with “Hey, that Jared Leto vampire movie might not be too bad.”

Pick: Giants to win it outright. Yeah, I said it.

Cincinnati (+5) at Buffalo: To me this is less of a game between great young quarterbacks, and more of an existential battle between hot wings and substandard chili.

Pick: Bengals to win it outright.

Dallas (+4) at San Francisco: I’ll take the winner of this game to win the NFC, no matter who they play next week.

Pick: 49ers to win and cover, winning by five or more.

I’ll also take Tom Brady to not retire, the Chargers to not change head coaches, and that “Night Court” reboot to induce me buying the boxed set of the original series. Good luck, everybody.

Reid Kerr was amazed to find out this week that his wife Kimberly didn’t remember the TV show “Carter Country.” You can always tweet questions, comments and angry messages to him at @reidaboutit.

 
 

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