Hugh Neeld: The Curmudgeon Report

In November, whoever our new President is, he’ll have won the best public housing in America, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

At the beginning of this century, the White House celebrated its 200th anniversary,
commemorating Nov. 16, 1800 when President John Adams and his wife, Abigail, moved into their brand-new, but partially furnished home.

Ironically, the outcome of that year’s presidential election was not known when the Adamses moved in. Back then, there was no CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS or FOX to get
the word out; any news traveled by horseback.

The Adamses were just getting settled in when they got the news that Thomas Jefferson had been elected President. Four months later, they left. Abigail wasn’t upset at all. She hadn’t wanted to leave Philadelphia in the first place and had called Georgetown “the dirtiest hole I ever saw.”

But, if it lacked something then, it now represents the center of American Democracy. And if that’s not enough, consider having a four-year rent-free lease on a 132-room mansion complete with swimming pools, a movie theater, bowling alleys and a putting green. Now do you understand why little kids want to grow up to be president?

A domestic staff of more than 90 servants to wash clothes, cook meals and shell
pistachio nuts might sound a little excessive. But remember, the White House has 31 toilets to scrub, 147 windows to wash and 18 acres to mow and trim, to mention just a few of the countless chores they’re responsible for. I’m sure you’d agree that a little help is needed around the house.

Carl Anthony, presidential historian and author of America’s First Families, said, “The White House is really the most amazing residence on earth. Real lives are lived on the ultimate stage and the whole world is watching.”

Living in the White House must be like living in a museum; one that welcomes up to 6,000 visitors a day. It’s easy to see how kicking back and relaxing might be a little difficult. That’s why different first families handled it in different ways.

Andrew Jackson threw a wild party in 1829 with 8,000 people in attendance. To get partygoers to leave, crews had to lure them outside with bath tubs full of orange juice and whiskey on the front lawn.

After dining on wild game, Dwight Eisenhower liked to host stag poker parties in the Treaty Room. Jimmy Carter disapproved of high living at the country’s expense. He sold the presidential yacht as a way to show it. He did, however, renovate the billiards room and panel it with wood from his old barn in Plains, Ga.

Other occupants expressed their personal preferences by changes in everything from décor to hors d’oeuvres. Ronald Reagan ordered 12 tons of jelly beans, so White House visitors could enjoy his favorite candy. Bush Senior displayed World War II memorabilia, while George W. favors western-themed art and pictures. Clinton’s interests were not such that they lent themselves to public display.

So, a word to our new President: Since you’ll be living in the world’s most luxurious fish bowl for the next four years, take heed — the place is over 200 years old and there’s virtually no privacy, but as long as you reside there, you’re pretty much guaranteed hot water — lots and lots of it.

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A question to ponder:

How come we choose from only two people for president, but 50 for Miss America?

putterhugh@suddenlink.net

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Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.

Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com
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