Hugh Neeld: The Curmudgeon Report

When I read a story in the paper the other day about March being Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Month, it started me thinking. Ever since I reached “senior citizen” status, I’ve suffered from a variety of ill-defined aches and pains, diagnosing myself with everything I could think of. But since discovering such online medical help as WebMD, I’ve had a new world of imaginary illnesses opened up to me.

For instance, I used to think my headaches were really bad migraines. But last week, while searching East Texas Medical Center’s web site, I learned about something more serious called Cranial AVM, which along with headache pain, could also result in dizziness, loss of concentration and impaired vision. I immediately thought, “Hey, that’s exactly what happens to me.”

On top of surfing medical web sites, I even check bulletin board services for terminally ill patients, so I can improve my self-diagnosing abilities. It sure beats thumbing through the two-volume Physician’s Desk Reference, which I’m pretty sure caused my carpal tunnel syndrome. It felt great to throw it in the trash, except I think I slipped a disc in my back when I did.

Every day (if I feel up to it), I log on to learn more. With the medical resources available on the net, anyone can diagnose themselves with amazing accuracy. Last week, I was on the chronic-fatigue-syndrome message board, talking to other sufferers like myself. I can’t begin to tell you how reassuring it was to communicate with other people who, not only are going through the same thing, but who know that this is not just “all in my head.”

You need to know, however, that web-based medical diagnosis is not an exact science. It’s all too common for a person who knows they’re sick to enter their symptoms only to get a response back saying, “nothing is wrong.” If that happens, get a second opinion from another web site—or, if a web site is asking you “yes” or “no” questions about your symptoms, just say “yes” to all of them. That way you’ll get a longer list of conditions or diseases you might have.

Let me close with one final note of caution: Computers are great, but if you spend too much time in front of one, you run the risk of developing chronic ocular strain—not to mention monitor radiation poisoning, which I suspect played a part in my recent brain-tumor scare. If your computer does make you sick, though, remember, you can also use it to make yourself better.

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A question to ponder:

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?

putterhugh@suddenlink.net

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Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.

Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.
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