Hugh Neeld: The Curmudgeon Report

Back in April I attended a book-signing event, something authors do at every opportunity. It was called Books n’ Authors n’ all That Jazz, and is sponsored every year by Weatherford College. It’s a well-attended event combining book signings by Texas authors with live music by the college’s jazz band, readings and seminars.

Having been to a book-signing event before, I looked around the surrounding tables of authors and their book displays for a familiar face, and finally spotted one. As I started over to say hello, I noticed that he was engrossed in reading his own book of contemporary poetry. Several copies were lying flat in a long line of similar books next to the edge of the table. He appraised the situation then took out of his briefcase a little wooden stand, which he sat on top of the others, to display a single copy of his book.

"Oh my God," I thought at the time, "what shameless self-promotion. I can't believe an author would do something like that."

As a new author, what I had not yet learned is that having a successful writing career largely depends upon your talents at shameless self-promotion.

This is not entirely our fault, however. We learn this behavior by observing those with more experience. We’re compelled to it, practiced in it, tormented by it—with the constant rituals of self-evaluation we must undertake at every step of our careers. And self-evaluation, if you have ambition to succeed, means self-promotion.

Studies have found that self-promotion is directly related to success. All successful people are self promoters, from Madonna to Bill Clinton. Some do it with more integrity than others, but we all must self-promote to succeed. In fact, we were self-promoting in grade school, when we enthusiastically raised our hands to show the teacher we knew the answer.

With time I have become more willing to promote my book in ways I would have found hard to believe, even distasteful, earlier. As an example, one of the most effective and least expensive ways I’ve found to promote my book is to carry a copy of it with me on all of my many doctor appointments. I’ve never been to a doctor appointment that didn’t require substantial waiting, which time I use to maximum advantage. As I sit in a waiting room full of people, I read my book, showing my enjoyment by chuckling, or occasionally laughing out loud.

Invariably, someone’s curiosity will provoke an inquiry. “What are you reading?” they’ll ask. Or, “What’s so funny?” The satisfaction I feel is akin to what the con artist must feel when his mark takes the bait. Even if I don’t sell a couple of books then and there, I have ample opportunity to plug the book and pass out business cards.

I was somewhat embarrassed, however, when confronted by Dr. Israel, my cardiologist. His receptionist had reported that she’d seen me in the waiting room several times when I didn’t have an appointment. What could I do? I confessed. He was more than gracious. “Just don’t overdo it,” he cautioned.”

Maybe someday, when I'm famous, other people will praise my work for me. The publisher of the Tyler Paper will trot me out at the annual Texas Newspaper Publishers convention, roll down my list of publications, and ask me to deliver some witty remarks after dinner. Or, better yet, maybe Oprah will laud my latest title for her book club.

Until that time, I can see only one candidate for the job of shamelessly self-promoting me.

He gets better at it every year

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A question to ponder:
Will you really enjoy the music unless you toot your own horn?
putterhugh@suddenlink.net

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Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.

Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.
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